Yep, that’s me.
I knew I was sensitive, but since getting married I’ve noticed the extent of my sensitivity quite a bit:
- I got so overwhelmed at Menards once, picking out flowers, because it felt like everyone with a cart was not paying attention to how close they were to me. Like they weren’t aware of their surroundings. I am hyper aware of everyone around me, what they want and if I’m in the way.
- I constantly ask my husband if we can turn the tv down.
- I like to avoid stressful situations when I can. Like calling people on the phone or walking in a different direction when I know I’ll cross paths with someone.
- I steal away alone time during the work day because I often feel exhausted by my attention to detail.
- I am always worried I will forget something, to put something on the grocery list or to do this one important or small thing.
- I really like art and feeling music. I like picturing the colors and senses in a story.
- I often take on my husband’s emotions. So if he feels exhausted then I will feel like I can’t be upbeat. Like I have to match his energy level and emotions.
- I am very sensitive to caffeine, I’ve found.
- I get nervous about making mistakes, and it’s hard to let mistakes and bad choices go. Thank you memories from elementary school that never seem to leave me.
I’ve often felt like there was something wrong with me. Why can’t I go to the grocery store and be normal? Why do I have to be hyper aware and take everyone into account before I make my next move? Why can’t I be okay with the volume on a bit higher?
I took this simple, check-box test, but really I just looked through some of the things, and I knew that this was me. It’s not a full evaluation of my psychology, but sometimes you just know that you fit the bill.
And knowing this has been a bit freeing. That God made this trait of mine pretty intense. And for a reason.
For more on sensory processing sensitivity, check the Wiki page. Because that’s as deep as I’ve gotten into this so far.