Our culture is the “me” culture. And this isn’t a new thing. We’re all about independence and winning popularity contests.
And this is the opposite of what God wishes for our lives. He wants us to depend on him. He will win the popularity contest.
But even in marriage, these cultural ideas permeate our minds too. We want to be independent people. We don’t need anyone’s help. We can do things on our own. We want the most followers on Instagram, for people to like us without really knowing us.
In this second video in the Francis and Lisa Chan video series, they talk about how marriage fits into this picture.
Our marriage is meant to signify something different. We choose to have a partner. We signal our dependence and our sacrifice.
As for popularity contests, a Christian marriage should be an immediate attraction for people where people say, “I want that kind of relationship.” Your marriage should attract people to God as your marriage reflects the gospel, the heart of servitude and giving. A heart of forgiveness and truth.
And while thinking about this idea of our marriages reflecting the gospel and attracting other people to God through the image of my marriage, I wonder what people see. They probably see that my husband and I explore a lot. They probably see the things we do. And these kinds of documentary things are good, but mostly good for myself. When I see that picture of Stone Arch Bridge on my Instagram, my thought isn’t, wow! what a great day that was. My thought is wow! remember that giant, day-long fight I had with my husband that started on that bridge?
I like to keep the dirty, not so pretty side of life to myself. But I feel like we’re called to share that side. Not divulging our most personal and private secrets to the public, but divulging the imperfection and the ruin.
To attract people to God through our marriages, maybe we shouldn’t put our best faces forward. His face shines most through the mess, when we show how reality compares to our cultural ideals.